10 Reasons Why You Should Vote Kanye West for President

Photo: thehollywoodgossip.com

Kanye West used his time at the VMA’s to announce that he will run for President of America in 2020. Many people thought this was meant to be a joke (he admitted he had done drugs seconds before announcing) but I think otherwise. I (if I was American) am voting for Kanye West in 2020. Here’s why.

Kanye West announcing his bid during the VMA's. Photo: vogue.com
Kanye West announcing his bid during the VMA’s. Photo: vogue.com

#1: He would be the first God President: Kanye has called himself ‘Yeezus’, the original translation of Jesus. He has also claimed, as said in his song, that he “[is] a God”. If he were to win the presidency, Kanye West would be the first God to occupy such a position. Gods have previously held positions of power, most notably in Egypt, where the Pharaohs, or ‘God-kings’, ruled for over 3,000 years. If Kanye were to be president, perhaps a similar glorious history could take place in America. Kanye would see to it that America would be remembered throughout history just as the Egyptians are.

#2: He is influential: TIME has labelled him in the list of the Top 100 most influential people in the world. Truly Yeezy is a man of equal power to both Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-Un, other people in the list. He deserves to have his power recognized.

#3: He’s tough: Kanye West cancelled one of his concerts midway through in Australia when two fans in wheelchairs refused to stand up for him. He is a man who does not take no for an answer and never negotiates, even for the physically impossible. An admirable attribute of leaders like Alexander the Great and Donald Trump.

#4: His policies: Many people speculate as to what his policies and platform would be. While nothing concrete can be said as of this moment, The Update has acquired from an anonymous source that his policies would include;

  • Changing the much abhorred Imperial System to the Kanye system. Instead of inches, there are mini-Kanyes. Instead of feet, there are Kanyes. Instead of ten feet, there is a mega-Kanye so on and so forth.
  • He is also believed to be renaming the Lincoln Bedroom in the White House to ‘Kanye’s Crib’
  • It is speculated that he will additionally change all compasses to conform to the Kanye system, with the directions North, South, East and West being transformed into West, West, West and West
  • As part of his ‘New York Policy’, He would restructure the Statue of Liberty to look similar to his wife, Kim Kardashian-West. He would also rename Manhattan to Westopolis.

#5: He innovates: Many people bemoan the current American system of politics. They claim it doesn’t get anything done, that it is susceptible to corruption and gerrymandering and other political terms. When Kanye released his first album, he almost single-handedly got rid of the “gangsta” persona in hip-hop, pioneering the current more alternative style. Perhaps he could change and innovate the current political system? After all, politics is not that different from the genre of rap. Both are filled to the brim with rich people. Both like their women to remain where they are and both swear violence on others for odd, even incoherent reasons.

#6: He has a strong foreign policy: Kanye has already revealed his foreign policy in one of his friend’s songs which he featured in. His stance is abbreviated to “IDFWU”, or, do not meddle in foreign affairs and do not let others meddle in domestic affairs.

Kanye's foreign policy slogan. Photo: yousearch.co
Kanye’s foreign policy slogan. Photo: yousearch.co

#7: He would not be the first entertainer to be president: One of the most famous American presidents, Ronald Reagan, was a Hollywood actor before taking office. Another performer who took public office was Arnold Schwarzenegger, as Governor of California.

Former President Ronald Reagan in his days as an actor. Photo: nbcnews.com
Former President Ronald Reagan in his days as an old time Sheriff. Not pictured: Dignity . Photo: nbcnews.com

#8: He is not afraid to be hated: Political scientist Geoff Mulgan once said that “No great man was ever loved in his time”. Every president must be ready to take mountains of criticisms. Kanye West has shown with his mantra, “Haters gonna hate” that he’s not afraid to be unlikable, an admirable quality in all strong leaders.

#9: He tells it like it is: In his song, “I am a God”, Kanye West displayed the current situation of inequality in America creating a two tier economic system by saying “I am a God / So hurry up with my damn massage”. He is not skirting around issues, but tackling them head on.

#10: He is a smart man: Kanye West moved to Nanjing, China as a child with his mother. He was educated in the famously high-achieving Chinese system. When asked if he got good grades, Kanye West confirmed he did by saying “I got A’s and B’s. And I’m not even frontin'”

Kanye West in his form as the Holy Son. Photo: regalrealness.com
Kanye West in his form as the Holy Son. Photo: regalrealness.com

The Update would like to clarify that this article was designed for satirical purposes. The Update does not believe in voting for Kanye West for President, but has merely written this article as a way to show what kind of ridiculousness a West Campaign would entail.