Best Republican Quotes of All Time

Photo: Scott Olson/Getty Images

The Republican Party has become somewhat known for some of its members acting like that weird uncle of yours, who randomly says something absolutely racist before sitting down and acting like he never said anything. Here is The Update’s compilation of the most memorable so far.

43rd President George W. Bush

George 'Dubya' Bush. Photo: reddit.com
George ‘Dubya’ Bush. Photo: reddit.com

“Rarely is the question asked… Is our children learning?”

“How hard is it to put food on your family?”

“Fool me once, shame on… Shame on you… Fool me twice… You can’t fool me [twice], I won’t be fooled again!”

“Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.”

“Do you have blacks, too?” – To the Brazilian President

“Our enemies never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

“For every fatal shooting, there are roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America.”

“They misunderestimated me.”

“A leadership is someone who brings people together.”

“I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.”

“It’s clearly a budget. It’s got lots of numbers in it.”

“The reason I believe in a large tax cut, because it’s what I believe in.”

“If you say you’re going to do something, and then don’t, well then that’s trustworthiness.”

Former Vice President Dan Quayle

Dan Quayle, happy that his mother finally bought him the ice cream he wanted. Photo: toptoptop.fr
Dan Quayle, happy that his mother finally bought him the ice cream he wanted. Photo: toptoptop.fr

“The Holocaust was an obscene moment in this nation’s history… I mean, in this century’s history… Now, we all lived in this century… I didn’t live in this century.”

“It’s not pollution that’s destroying our environment, it’s all the impurities in our air and water.”

“Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.”

“It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system.”

“The future will be better tomorrow.”

“I understand the importance of bondage between parent and child.”

“We are going to have the best educated American people in the world.”

While not a quote, Dan Quayle once asked a 12-year old to spell the word ‘potato’ for him. The child did so correctly, but Dan Quayle corrected him, putting a silent ‘e’ at the end of the word.

Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin

Little did the Republican party know, Tina Fey disguised herself as Sarah Palin to take it down from within. Photo: memcenter.com
Little did the Republican party know, Tina Fey disguised herself as Sarah Palin to take it down from within. Photo: memecenter.com

“But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.”

In an interview with Katie Couric, Palin was unable to name a single national newspaper.

When she became John McCain’s running mate, she had to be told that the Queen did not run England, what Germany was and what both World Wars were.

Presidential Candidate Donald J. Trump

Fun Fact: Donald Trump is the first Republican to be openly orange. Photo: salon.com
Fun Fact: Donald Trump is the first Republican to be openly orange. Photo: salon.com

“Part of the beauty of me, is that I’m rich.”

“Ivanka is beautiful. I’d date her if she wasn’t my daughter.”

“I don’t need to know now… I’ll know when I need to know.” – Donald’s response when asked who the leaders of Hamas and Hezbollah were.

“[They’re] drug dealers, [they’re] rapists, and some, I assume, are good people.” – Trump on Mexican illegal immigrants.

Former Presidential Candidate Herman Cain

Fun Fact: Former business mogul Herman Cain's candidacy lost due to sexual harassment lawsuits. Photo: freedomsphoenix.com
Fun Fact: Former business mogul Herman Cain’s candidacy lost due to sexual harassment lawsuits. Photo: freedomsphoenix.com

“I’m ready for the ‘gotcha’ questions… And when they ask me who’s the President of Ubeki-Beki-Beki-Beki-Stan-Stan, I’m going to say… I don’t know.” –Cain, when asked who the president of Uzbekistan was.

“Obama supported the uprising [in Libya] correct? President Obama called for the removal of Gadhafi. I just wanted to make sure we’re talking about the same thing before I say, ‘Yes, I agreed’ or ‘No I didn’t agree.’ I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason — nope, that’s a different one.”

When asked whether or not Cain‘s Libya comment showed he had a lack of in-depth knowledge of Foreign Policy, Cain replied “9-9-9”

“The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is.”

“In the year 3,000, people are going to speak with sound waves. Don’t think I’m crazy, the whales do it. Dolphins too.”

While those certainly aren’t all the memorable quotes that come from the mouth of the GOP, those are certainly some of the funniest we could find. Enjoy this clip of the first Republican Debate with Bad Lip Reading to see what could be.


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