By Brasen Tham (Y12)
Welcome back to Useless Genius, a series on the Update devoted to things you will never get tested on, never need in adulthood, and somehow encounter every single day. Today’s topic addresses a mystery so common that we’ve all accepted it without question:
Why do pencil erasers slowly disappear?
You buy a brand-new pencil. The eraser is pink, smooth, and full of potential. Fast forward two weeks, and it looks like it survived a natural disaster. Jagged edges. Bite marks (that were definitely not yours). And somehow, it’s half the size.
Erasers Do Not Obey the Laws of Conservation
According to science, matter cannot be created or destroyed. According to erasers, that rule is more of a suggestion.
You erase one small mistake, and suddenly a chunk of eraser is gone. Where does it go? Not onto the paper because your mistake is still there, just lighter and emotionally wounded.
Some experts believe erasers slowly sacrifice themselves to protect us from our own bad handwriting. Others believe they are fleeing toxic environments (like math class).
The Eraser Crumb Economy
Erasers don’t disappear quietly. They leave behind crumbs. Tiny, annoying crumbs that get everywhere except where you want them.
You brush them off your paper. They land on your desk. You brush them off your desk. They land on your floor. By the end of the day, your eraser has disintegrated, and your room looks like it snowed pink rubber.
The Emotional Journey of an Eraser
An eraser’s life is short and tragic:
1. Hopeful beginning – Perfectly attached to a pencil.
2. Overworked phase – End of year exams.
3. Identity crisis – No longer rectangular.
4. Final form – A sad, unusable nub.
At this point, you don’t erase anymore. You just stare at your mistake and accept it as part of your personality.