By Sophie Wood (Y8)
We have all been in this situation. It is Period 5. The radiator is making a noise, the teacher is talking about x and y, and your brain has stopped working. You are thinking about what would happen if a shark fought a bear. Your teacher is looking right at you.
If you get caught daydreaming, you will get the question: “So (Your Name), what do you think the answer is?” Do not panic. You just need to learn how to Fake Listen. Here is how to look like you know what is going on when you really have no idea.
The Truth
I asked a bunch of people at lunch about how they participate during class, and the results are pretty surprising for the school:
Twenty five percent of people in class are actually listening to the teacher.
Forty percent of people are staring at the clock. Wondering if it is moving.
Thirty percent of people are planning their lives as a TikToker.
Five percent of people are asleep with their eyes open, which is a cool trick.
One hundred percent of people will forget what they learned as soon as they leave the classroom.
The “I Get It” Move
1. The Slow Nod
This is the important thing to do. If you nod fast, you look silly, and it is clear you are faking it.
To do it: Nod your head slowly every forty-five seconds. This makes the teacher think you just understood something about algebra.
2. The. Scribble
Teachers like it when you take notes, but you do not have to write down what they are saying.
To do it: Look at the board, squint your eyes like you are trying to figure out a puzzle and then write something down. You can draw a stickman or a fancy letter. The teacher will think you are paying attention.
3. The Deep Sigh
This is a move. When the teacher finishes talking, let out a sigh and lean back in your chair a little.
This makes the teacher think you are not bored, you are just tired from learning much.
What to Do in an Emergency
- If the Fake Listen does not work and the teacher calls your name while you are thinking about something, use these tips:
- The “Can You Repeat the Question?” This is a move. It gives you a second to think.
- The “I Know the Answer. I Do Not Know How to Explain It”. This does not always work.
- The “Cough and Point”. Cough loudly and point at someone else’s desk. But be careful, this might make you lose a friend.
Do Not Do These Things
Do not look at the teacher for more than three seconds. If you stare long, they will ask you another question, and you will be in trouble.
Do not smile. Nobody is that happy about algebra. If you are smiling, the teacher will know you are thinking about something
Is it better to listen in class? Probably. My grades would be better if I did… Until they teach us things we really need to know, like how to get two bags of chips from a vending machine for the price of one, I will just keep on nodding.
Which group are you in? Are you the twenty-five percent who listen, the person who sleeps with their eyes open, or do you actually pay attention in class?